The little red book

It's official > I want a little red book. To clarify, I do not mean a little black book, I mean a British Passport.

After realising that my visa is once again due to expire, I have decided that it is about time to sort out my indefinite status,  once and for all. 

I honestly don't know what I am going to do with it once I have obtained it, but hey, people always seem to want to tell me to keep my options open. So, here I am, keeping my options open. If nothing else, it will mean an end to waiting in the All Other Passports queue behind 3 plane loads of non English speaking {potentially illegal} immigrants who have not filled out their paperwork. Most times, I bid a sad farewell to my English counterparts and tell them to save themselves and go on without me. They used to stay behind and wait for me at baggage but after a few trips with me, they soon came to realise that airports and I are not on particularly friendly terms, despite my seemingly frequent use of them. They often text me when they are safe & sound at home and generally I am still yet to make it to the customs desk.

So yes, after 8 years of queues, it is about time.

After looking into what was required, I soon came to realise that I had to sit the 'Life in the UK' test. And after a little bit of research, I found out that this was a test that I was actually going to have to study for. I had got through my whole entire life on a little bit of cramming and a probably a lot of pretty essays that danced vaguely {and hopefully poetically} around an idea rather than being 100% accurate. But this test...it is black and white, the answer is either right or wrong. 

I have 2 weeks before my test and I have been such a good little scholar and actually been studying. 

Here are some of the remarkable {and obviously cruical} facts I have learnt:

• That Whips are appointed by their party leaders {don't ask me what a Whip is yet... I haven't got to that page} 
• In 2005 Scotland's population was 5.1 million and accounted for 8% of the UK
• The National Assembly for Wales is actually situated in Cardiff not in Swansea.
• Ulster Scots is a dialect which is spoken in Northern Ireland.
• The the population of the UK has grown 6.1% since 1971
• One third of the population have used illegal drugs at one time or another. 
• The Geordie dialect originates from Tyneside.
• Jewish people migrated from Poland, Ukraine and Belarus to escape persecution in 1880-1910.
• That if I ever move to Northern Ireland, I can rest assured that the cost of water supply is included in domestic rates.

So goodbye to my much-loved social life > hello to my beautiful yellow highlighter and my study books. Please forgive me if the next time I see you I spout out a fairly random English fact for you - be assured that post December 15, my desire to tell you this new found information is sure to deteriorate. 

I will keep you posted {if i pass} > if i fail, I probably won't say a word until I am deported for not having the necessary skill set required to be a citizen of this magnificent country.

Until then, let the learning of random English facts continue.

xx