Wednesday, 30 November 2011

The little red book

It's official > I want a little red book. To clarify, I do not mean a little black book, I mean a British Passport.


After realising that my visa is once again due to expire, I have decided that it is about time to sort out my indefinite status,  once and for all. 

I honestly don't know what I am going to do with it once I have obtained it, but hey, people always seem to want to tell me to keep my options open. So, here I am, keeping my options open. If nothing else, it will mean an end to waiting in the All Other Passports queue behind 3 plane loads of non English speaking {potentially illegal} immigrants who have not filled out their paperwork. Most times, I bid a sad farewell to my English counterparts and tell them to save themselves and go on without me. They used to stay behind and wait for me at baggage but after a few trips with me, they soon came to realise that airports and I are not on particularly friendly terms, despite my seemingly frequent use of them. They often text me when they are safe & sound at home and generally I am still yet to make it to the customs desk.

So yes, after 8 years of queues, it is about time.

After looking into what was required, I soon came to realise that I had to sit the 'Life in the UK' test. And after a little bit of research, I found out that this was a test that I was actually going to have to study for. I had got through my whole entire life on a little bit of cramming and a probably a lot of pretty essays that danced vaguely {and hopefully poetically} around an idea rather than being 100% accurate. But this test...it is black and white, the answer is either right or wrong. 

I have 2 weeks before my test and I have been such a good little scholar and actually been studying. 

Here are some of the remarkable {and obviously cruical} facts I have learnt:
  • That Whips are appointed by their party leaders {don't ask me what a Whip is yet... I haven't got to that page} 
  • In 2005 Scotland's population was 5.1 million and accounted for 8% of the UK
  • The National Assembly for Wales is actually situated in Cardiff not in Swansea.
  • Ulster Scots is a dialect which is spoken in Northern Ireland.
  • The the population of the UK has grown 6.1% since 1971
  • One third of the population have used illegal drugs at one time or another. 
  • The Geordie dialect originates from Tyneside.
  • Jewish people migrated from Poland, Ukraine and Belarus to escape persecution in 1880-1910.
  • That if I ever move to Northern Ireland, I can rest assured that the cost of water supply is included in domestic rates.
So goodbye to my much-loved social life > hello to my beautiful yellow highlighter and my study books. Please forgive me if the next time I see you I spout out a fairly random English fact for you - be assured that post December 15, my desire to tell you this new found information is sure to deteriorate. 

I will keep you posted {if i pass} > if i fail, I probably won't say a word until I am deported for not having the necessary skill set required to be a citizen of this magnificent country.

Until then, let the learning of random English facts continue.

xx

Monday, 28 November 2011

This one's for you boys

So here you have it > boys, don't say I don't look after you.

The 9 Deadly Words Used By Women, as written by a man who seems to have cracked the code. {source unknown}


1) Fine
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to be quiet.

2) Five Minutes
If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3) Nothing
This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

4) Go Ahead
This is a dare, not permission. Don’t Do It!

5) Loud Sigh
This is actually a word. It is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6) That’s Okay
This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That’s okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7) Thanks
A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you’re welcome. (I want to add in a clause here – This is true, unless she says ‘Thanks a lot’ – that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say ‘you’re welcome’ . that will bring on a ‘whatever’).

8 ) Whatever
This is dangerous boys! She rarely means 'whatever' so back away now...

9) Don’t worry about it, I got it
Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking ‘What’s wrong?’ For the woman’s response refer to #3.


Thursday, 24 November 2011

30 days of Thankfulness

"Let your lives overflow with thanksgiving for all He has done" {Colossians 2:7}

Each day this November, in light of a friend's 30 Days of Thankfulness Challenge, I wrote down one thing that I am thankful for.



So here goes...

November 1: Being an Aunty! I love it. Seeing the little sweet faces of Elliot, Mitchell & River makes my heart smile. It's so crazy how much love one can have for somebody so tiny.

November 2: Red Cups. Thankyou Starbucks for putting back that spring in my November step. I feel like today is the day where we can officially get festive. Happy wintery days x

November 3: My darling new friend, Steph. I love her. She is a true American Beauty who has introduced many a new word to my vocabulary. My current favourite of her words is 'dreamboat'. And what I love more than the word itself, is her ability to use it in reference to our Chiropractor.

November 4: Suprises! Tonight I went to a party where the Father of the Birthday Boy flew in from NZ to surprise him for his 30th birthday. I loved seeing the look on both their faces. I also loved the secret organisation that went on behind the scenes to make sure that their paths didn't cross before the party.

November 5: Guy Fawkes > Fireworks > Bonfires > Sparklers! Need i say anymore! Well only that if you live in London, you need to get yourself down to Battersea Park one year.

November 6: Skype. So thankful that there are people with such creative genius on the planet who can come up with technology like this. Makes living in a city a million miles away from your beloved family just that little bit more bearable.

November 7: The 'Next Bus' iPhone ap. I know, someone call the the Geek Police. I just can't explain to you all how much it has changed my life. No more waiting on those dark, cold, rainy mornings. Just select your bus stop and voilĂ ... next bus in 4 minutes, time to run to the bus stop!

November 8: My Parents. These two are some of the sweetest most generous people on the planet. Love them!!!

November 9: That my puppy is always sitting at the door waiting for me to walk in. I adore her unconditional love > she makes me smile!

November 10: My dreamboat (see Nov 3) of a chiropractor. So the other week on the way to a night out, I decided to take a tumble down a whole flight of stairs. With a mild concussion and a rotated pelvis, I was a little sore and sorry for myself. So thankful for Dr Nick and his magic ability to right the wrongs in my back.

November 11: That I live in a country that Remembers & honours the sacrifice of those who have gone before. We will remember them.

November 12: For friends who have fun fancy dress parties & who give me the opportunity to harness the {very} inner gothic within. Fortunately or unfortunately, {don't read this part mum} it also reignited my affection for tattoos.

November 13: Sleeping in and not having to set an alarm. Granted that this only happens once a week. It has to be one of my most favourite parts of my week.

November 14: London at Christmastime. The magic that comes with a cold & hopefully white, Christmas. I love the lights, the mulled wine, the Christmas markets, the big fluffy hats and big cosy jackets. Ah, love!

November 15: My beautiful sister Jodi & her husband James & my brother Andrew and his lovely wife, Brittney. Oh how I love my family > just so thankful!

November 16: My darling friend Lynn. I work with this awesome girl and nothing is ever a drama and everything she does is mixed with an incredible amount of humour to get me through the working day. She is a freaking superstar. I love her! And she's single too boys...

November 17: The Bunnies! What can I say. I think I live with the most amazing, talented, beautiful, generous, inspirational, caring girls on the planet. So blessed x

November 18: All the beautiful little people in my world. Ah, baby cuddles, so precious. {And thank you to all my friends who humour me and let me steal their little ones, even just for a few minutes}

November 19: Borris Bikes > the most awesome thing to happen in London. Ever! {Well this is probably a mild exaggeration, but let's be serious now, they are pretty awesome!}

November 20: Real Christmas trees! The beautiful smell and the adventure of choosing that very special tree and carting it home again. Unforgettable memories!

November 21: New music. Oh man, something about listening to a new song and knowing that it is going to be playing on the soundtrack of your life. My current faves are Ray LaMontagne's 'Can I Stay' and James Vincent McMorrow's 'If i had a boat'. And many thanks to Ray Ray & Hajie for their musical direction in my life :)

November 22: My Unlimited Movie Card... free movies anytime. Best present ever! This was gifted to me and it's the gift that keeps on giving. What better way to spend a cold Tuesday night in London Town then heading to the cinema with your besties.


November 23: My job! I really do love my job. I have been in the same job for 8 years and haven't looked back. I can honestly say that this job was made for me.

November 24: Warm cosy rugged-up nights in. With Winter fast approaching, it's easy to justify staying 'in' watching that old film and sharing a bottle of your favourite wine. Ah, wintertime snuggly bliss.

November 25: Hand Knitted scarves, oh how I adore thee. My favourite at the moment is the one my Aunty Jan made me last Christmas. It is truly divine!

November 26: Dinner parties > i love them. I love everything that a dinner party has to offer. Good friends, good food, good wine & a lot of laughter.

November 27: Outdoor Ice Skating! This little Australian never thought skating outside could ever be so much fun. Makes me feel like a little girl again. Also love all the unashamed hand holding that goes along with this.

November 28: My beautiful London family > both new and old. You know who you are :) I would not be still in London without you. So blessed to be doing this adventure called life with you!

November 29: Christmas Carols. I love that they so beautifully remind me of what Christmas really means.

{I will be sure to fill in the rest as the days pass... I just couldn't resist publishing it today > as it is, of course, Thanksgiving!}


Happy Thanksgiving, Beautiful Friends xx

Monday, 31 October 2011

Well hello there little mouse

In a house full of 6 girls, it has to be noted that there is never a dull moment. At any given time we each tend to have a number of crazy or beautiful or ridiculous or inspiring stories to tell.

And today, I will tell you the story of our little mouse.




This story starts a few weeks back with a little furry friend who had decided to take up residence in our much-loved kitchen. A few of us were sharing a lazy breakfast one Saturday morning when we heard something moving in the corner.

There was a few tiny squeaks, a rustling of paper, and a tiny little scampering noise. I know it is hard to believe, but our conversation was silenced by these tiny little noises. 

There was stillness. It was eerie.

We were silent, waiting in anticipation to find out where this noise was coming from.

We looked around at each other, trying to work out whether we should be scared or not. As a few more seconds rolled by without incident, we all relaxed a little. That was until one of the girls felt a warm tickling sensation scamper over her bare feet.

It a split second, there was collective high-pitched screaming that resulted in an automatic response that left us all standing on chairs and some of us even embracing the safety of standing on the kitchen table.

Honestly, I can't tell you how long we were all up there before we felt safe enough to retreat back to our usual breakfast positions. All i know is that this teeny tiny little creature had such an incredible hold over us. In that moment, I came to realise that in general, women never really learn that a mouse can't actually hurt you. I am pretty sure men learn this fairly early on, and tend to be aware of the direct correlation between the size of something and it's strength. We clearly are still trying to learn that one.

After about a week without a Stuart {Little} sighting, we thought perhaps he was just on holidays with us. In the meantime, we had some friends over for dinner and when they heard of our little mouse, the boys of the group smiled and gently told us that one mouse is never just one mouse... it is always a nest. Oh dear!

And later that week, we did find out that this was in fact the case. As it turns out, our very own Stuart, had gone off to invite Mrs Little and the whole Little family to reside here with us.

These desperate times did indeed call for some desperate measures. I mean if one little solo mouse had the ability to get 6 girls standing on top of the kitchen table, what would a whole family of mice do to us?

So a house meeting was scheduled.

TOPIC: Stuart's Eviction.

These were some of the notes taken:
1. We must not under any circumstance continue to call him Stuart. He must be 'Mouse intruder #1'. Some of the girls thought that if we personalise him too much, the trauma of his departure/death may be too much. 

2. Organic mousetraps versus the good old fashioned metal-springed torture traps. We were torn. Mainly because we did not like the consequence of any of the above traps. One way, you find a dead, squished, bulging eyed mouse, flattened between a piece of wood and a metal death bar; or conversely, you find a mouse, unharmed and alive, frantically crawling in a little box in your kitchen. Either way you still have to dispose of the mouse - and none of us are believed to have the emotional constitution to be able to deal with either of these situations. 

3. We could pray that the Little Family find another place of residence. I know it sounds crazy, and I must admit some of the housemates had an eye-roll kind of reaction. But hey, it's worth a go. We have been given a week to pray the mice away. If after that week, we still have the Little Family with us, I'm afraid it's onto other less humane forms of death, entrapment and eviction for poor little Stuart. 

So i guess this is a battle that only time will tell. 

In the mean time, if you see a knight in mouse-hunting armour, then please send him our way x

Friday, 7 October 2011

So, today I bought a man lunch...


So, today I bought a man lunch. Now, before you all applaud me on my exceptionally {and uncharacteristically} forward nature, I need to give you all a little bit of background...




Let me set the scene.

Man sitting in the park on his lunch break. His bag sitting comfortably at his side, with his suit jacket placed over the seat; sitting there quietly with headphones in, potentially lavishing the little bit of warmth on the last day of the working week.

Did I notice him at first?
No.

Did my puppy notice his lunch sitting on top of his bag?
Yes.

I think you all know where this is going.

In a split second, my life went from a quiet, leisurely midday stroll with the puppy, to me apologising profusely to this hungry stranger.

After capturing the half eaten, dog-slobbered, turkey on rye, I decided that there was only one decent thing to do.

Buy the stranger lunch!

Despite his polite protests and slight amusement {thankfully} of the fact that my 'meant to be on a diet' puppy had just devoured his lunch, he allowed me to pay off my puppy's debt.

With puppy well and truly reprimanded and firmly on lead, I proceeded to walk with the stranger to the nearest sandwich bar. Polite conversation followed for the next few minutes with me interjecting every moment I could, with "i'm so sorry, she's honestly never done this before..."


And by the end of the journey down the high street, my puppy had made herself a new best friend. I genuinely don't know how she does it, but all it takes is 2 minutes for her to captivate the heart of every human she meets. And just maybe, that's a lesson for us all {the making new friends part, not the act of stealing someone's lunch...}

So with a new sandwich in his hand and another few apologies in the mix, we parted ways. And as the puppy and I walked home, i got to thinking about how many people i have actually met through this little furry creature on my lead.

And indeed, I even learnt two things today: 

Firstly, that puppies are an exceptionally easy way to make friends {pretty much on par with the whole man with a baby scenario}; and secondly, that you should never underestimate a dieting puppy.

Tuesday, 4 October 2011

The Birthday Cake

"What type of cake would you like me to make you for your birthday, Sebastian?"

As I asked this question this morning, I was aiming for an answer in the vicinity of 'chocolate please'. Thinking that my exceptionally ingenious idea to add smarties to the icing would rate me in his top ten favourite people of all time list. I could see the accolades now...

"A puppy cake!"

Er...right then, let me just take a few seconds to breathe and then work out a way to clear my jam-packed plan for the day. With this, I took off my much loved Personal Assistant hat and quite warily donned my Chef hat. Oh my!

And with that, I put on a load of washing, threw the kids and the puppy in the car, dropped the kids at school, dropped the puppy with the dog walker, collected the dry cleaning, sent a text to postpone the gardener, called the optometrist to confirm appointments and then made my way to the store.

And then, with all the ingredients set before me, I took a deep breath and began.

Once the sponge cakes were baked {and cooled} I was ready to go.

Icing





Then came the hard part...To make little blobs of icing actually look like puppies.


Honestly, this was the good one. You should have seen how the previous seventeen turned out.

The paw prints. Don't worry, I wasn't sure about these either, so I conducted a little survey mid decoration, and thankfully discovered that 7 out of 10 people actually thought that these looked like paw prints {without being prompted} 


And then there was one little puppy sitting on a cake. 


He looked so sad by himself so I had to make him a little friend. 


And there you have it. This is what my day looked like today. Complete with flour in my hair, icing all over my clothes & that sickness you get from eating too many of the failed puppy attempts.

So Happy Birthday, darling Sebastian. Here is your puppy cake x



Tuesday, 6 September 2011

What if...

What if you woke up today with only the things you thanked God for yesterday?



What a challenging thought. Not that life really works like this, but it certainly makes you think.

Last week I was reminded about how important it is that we are thankful. Thankful for the things that we have in our lives & indeed, thankful for the things that are yet to come.


I was humbled by a dear sweet friend of mine, who has recently battled a journey of heartbreak and loss. Through it all, she continued to stand strong, with determination, she spoke words that would profess her thankful heart for the good things in her life. 


I am thankful, so very thankful, that through my friend's courage, I have been given a little perspective.


What are you thankful for today?



x