I have learnt

Yesterday it rained in London. Now you would think that I would be used to a little rain by now. But seriously, just after midday, the skies opened up and a downpour of typhonic proportions hit.

So there I was, stranded, helpless, stood amongst the Yummy Mummies of Chelsea, underneath an awning, sheltering from the onslaught. After a few minutes of listening to their banter about the latest Petit Bateau collection, the trauma of their personal training session & their customary lunches at Wimbledon, I decided to make a run for it.

Fail.

I learnt many things in the few minutes that were to befall me during my journey from my cosy little shelter to my car across the road.

I have learnt that I am not a good looking wet person. I suspect that the whole notion of good hair after the rain is saved for those in cartoons & movies.

I have learnt that you should never chase your awol flip flop that has been held hostage by the rapids in the gutter. This causes people at the bus stop adjacent to think you are ridiculous. Just embrace the one shoe trend and walk away with dignity intact.

I have learnt that is crucial not to stand too close to a kerb when it has been raining. Bus > big, no huge puddle > saturated Amy {honestly, I only thought this happened in movies too}

I have learnt that it is always important to wear colour appropriate underwear if there is a slight chance of rain. I will say no more {nor will we ever speak of this again}.

I have learnt that when the weather forecast says sunshine & 24, you should think rain/hurricane style winds & 14. And always, always take an umbrella if you live in England.

So there you have it. Who knew one could learn so much in such a short space of time.

Much love,
Yours Saturated-ly

A
xx

Dear 3am, we have got to stop meeting this way

Insomnia. I didn't understand the concept of this phenomenon until early this morning. Honestly, I'm a girl who loves to sleep. Give me a little teeny space & I will always make a way. I can sleep on trains, planes & automobiles. Actually, I am normally able to catch a few minutes sleep before the plane has even taken off. Some people dread the 24 hour flight to Australia. Me, I love it. Free movies & guiltless hours of sleep! Pretty good deal if you ask me.

But not being able to sleep when you really want to sleep > absolute torture!

Late last night, after an exciting & eventful weekend, my weary little self marched home dreaming of my nice fluffy duvet & freshly washed sheets. At about 11pm I hopped into bed, put on my eye mask and got myself ready to dream the night away. 

Tick-tock.

11:57pm

Tick-tock.

12:34am

Tick-tock.

1:50am

Tick-tock.

3:04am

Finally. Sleep arrived sometime after 3am - only for me to be jolted back into some form of consciousness with the ringing of my 5:53am weekday alarm. Not good. 2 hours and 50 something minutes sleep - oh my, this is going to be one very long day!

Somewhere between midnight & 714 sheep, I decided that trying to visualise sheep jumping over my bed wasn't for me. It just got me thinking more. I mean, where are all these sheep coming from? Where were they going to? Were they landing safely on the other side? Were they landing on one another? And was there actually 714 individual sheep or was it the same 10 sheep doing laps? Hmmmm, dangerous territory for me to get my impulsively overactive imagination in to! And now, to add fuel to the fire, I started to worry about the fact that I may have gone completely and utterly mental. Who else starts to give names and accessories to the sheep they are counting? Actually, don't answer that!

This morning, my highly weary self is asking Mr Google about his suggestions should this ever happen again. In the meantime, anyone out there with some good suggestions {other than counting sheep that is} feel free to send them my way! I am concerned what will happen if I have another night like last night. Be scared all you Australians out there. The fact that you are in another time zone means that you are perfect target for a late night, insomniac phone call.

So 3am, we really do need to stop meeting this way. Unless of course I'm in a pair of Jimmy Choos & have a bellini in my hand.

Much love & loads of caffeine xx

The hundred workout

I am pleased to say that I have lived to tell the tale of the 'hundred workout'. I honestly don't know who thought of this crazy idea but I kind of think that it may actually be something that most of us are up for {even those of us of the athletically challenged nature}.

So here it is, plain & simple.

Now honestly, even I was surprised that I made it through the workout. Me, the girl who was found in her gym kit, sitting on her yoga mat, 'watching' a fitness video, eating a bowl of cereal. What...So you are saying exercise doesn't happen through osmosis?  

I must admit however, somewhere between the 90 crunches and the 80 squats I did feel myself losing some form of consciousness. Thankfully, the thought of having to write this blog and confess that I managed to complete the 'twelve workout' seemed to jolt me back into the world of reckless enthusiasm. 

As I finished my 10 minute run, I gave myself a high-five. Actually, I didn't but I did amuse myself for a good few minutes on how ridiculous a self administered high-five would make me look - as if the running in public hadn't already achieved that feat! 

Yay me! It was done for the day. In the meantime, I will spend my day thinking about all the muscles in my body that I now know exist and hoping that my abs stop burning in time for me to continue tomorrow's set. 

Anyone with me? 

The dreaded D word

In the name of research {or er...a socially acceptable bikini body for the summer} I have embarked on one of the scariest missions of my whole entire life.

The dreaded D Word

Detox 

I think I am pretty much allergic to the whole concept of diet & detox and generally tend to break out in hives at the sheer thought of it. But as they say, desperate times call for desperate measures! Who the 'they' are I do not know, but I may wish to harm the 'they' after this little experiment of mine.

With new found enthusiasm I will embark wholeheartedly on the detox train in the hope that I will feel healthier & more energetic {and ready to party the summer away}. The plan is that every day for the next 2 weeks, my sweet little delivery man will drop off on my doorstep my daily supply of fresh juices to get me through. Goodbye coffee, chocolate & wine, you will be missed. But don't dismay, my new found superfood friends are going to keep me company for a little while.

My aching head is already regretting the no caffeine rule & my poor stomach has no idea of the deprivation I am about to put it through. I do sit in fear when I wonder what the next few days hold for me and how long I will actually last in this {ridiculous} quest for health & vitality! I also wonder what special juice concoctions mr delivery man will bring me tomorrow. 

So wish me luck as I sit here sipping my carrot, beetroot, pineapple & ginger juice. Mmmmmm, delicious...Mind over matter, people. It's actually not as bad as it seems, especially if you put a wedge of pineapple on the glass, add a straw and pretend it's a pina colada.

So cheers to me and my cocktail of detox yumminess...