How {not} to say hello!

Ok, so here is my dilemma > a few days ago a friend came up to say hello. He stretched out his arms for a hug and so with reckless abandon I went in for a hug. The only problem was that he wasn't quite ready for my 'reckless abandon' kind of hug. From an outsiders perspective, i'm pretty sure it looked as if I was trying to crash tackle this guy to the floor.

Thankfully he recovered pre floor landing and we managed to do a little stabilising shuffle/dance kind of thing {all in slow motion of course} and were able resume our pre hug positions. He then took a safety step back and said 'hi'.

Er...awkward!

I still cringe when I replay this trauma in my head, wondering if at any stage in my life I will ever be a normal & non awkward human being. I painfully re-enacted it out to my flatmates when I got home that evening and they literally rolled on the floor in hysterics. And now, what's worse is that this type of 'take advantage' hug has a name > it has now been called the 'Amy'. Ah, how exciting, my moment of trauma has been forever etched in the Stephendale dictionary of terms.

What's worse than this crash-tackle kind of hug though are the memories of 'greetings gone wrong' that this kind of experience evokes. I shudder at the thought of all the times a greeting has gone wrong. Please say this doesn't just happen to me?!?!

Here in England, a greeting can be tricky. We have so many Europeans in the mix that you never know if it's going to be a hug, a one kiss or a two kiss hello! Seriously, I am pretty sure I did not get the memo that states when each of these are appropriate.

Known for my affectionate ways, I tend to want to hug everyone I meet {potentially though, I will reassess the vigour at which I hug in light of the above situation} This hugging affection of mine is not usually a problem unless you go in for the hug and they go in for the kiss and then retreat. Then you have what I like to call the kiss/non hug limbo > where one party is still going in for the lean and the other one has retreated. In which case the non hugger then feels bad and goes in for the hug after the kiss, which just makes it all the more awkward.

And just when you thought it couldn't get any worse, I have another story for you. So imagine my joy when I so beautifully assess that the person is in fact European and wanting a double kiss. All I am going to say is that I have learnt that the most crucial fact to note in these situations is the amount of space one needs to retreat before planting the second kiss. If you get this distance wrong, you then participate in a 'lip graze' kind of experience, which is not ideal and perhaps even more cringe-worthy than the crash tackle hug.

Oh me, oh my!

Feel free to tell me your cringe-worthy moments > I may need to hear them if I am ever going to allow myself back in public again. Until then, I promise to work on my hug technique and vow not to be offended if you stand back and wave 'hello' to me from a safe distance.

Much love & restrained hugs & kisses xoxo

The little red book

It's official > I want a little red book. To clarify, I do not mean a little black book, I mean a British Passport.

After realising that my visa is once again due to expire, I have decided that it is about time to sort out my indefinite status,  once and for all. 

I honestly don't know what I am going to do with it once I have obtained it, but hey, people always seem to want to tell me to keep my options open. So, here I am, keeping my options open. If nothing else, it will mean an end to waiting in the All Other Passports queue behind 3 plane loads of non English speaking {potentially illegal} immigrants who have not filled out their paperwork. Most times, I bid a sad farewell to my English counterparts and tell them to save themselves and go on without me. They used to stay behind and wait for me at baggage but after a few trips with me, they soon came to realise that airports and I are not on particularly friendly terms, despite my seemingly frequent use of them. They often text me when they are safe & sound at home and generally I am still yet to make it to the customs desk.

So yes, after 8 years of queues, it is about time.

After looking into what was required, I soon came to realise that I had to sit the 'Life in the UK' test. And after a little bit of research, I found out that this was a test that I was actually going to have to study for. I had got through my whole entire life on a little bit of cramming and a probably a lot of pretty essays that danced vaguely {and hopefully poetically} around an idea rather than being 100% accurate. But this test...it is black and white, the answer is either right or wrong. 

I have 2 weeks before my test and I have been such a good little scholar and actually been studying. 

Here are some of the remarkable {and obviously cruical} facts I have learnt:

• That Whips are appointed by their party leaders {don't ask me what a Whip is yet... I haven't got to that page} 
• In 2005 Scotland's population was 5.1 million and accounted for 8% of the UK
• The National Assembly for Wales is actually situated in Cardiff not in Swansea.
• Ulster Scots is a dialect which is spoken in Northern Ireland.
• The the population of the UK has grown 6.1% since 1971
• One third of the population have used illegal drugs at one time or another. 
• The Geordie dialect originates from Tyneside.
• Jewish people migrated from Poland, Ukraine and Belarus to escape persecution in 1880-1910.
• That if I ever move to Northern Ireland, I can rest assured that the cost of water supply is included in domestic rates.

So goodbye to my much-loved social life > hello to my beautiful yellow highlighter and my study books. Please forgive me if the next time I see you I spout out a fairly random English fact for you - be assured that post December 15, my desire to tell you this new found information is sure to deteriorate. 

I will keep you posted {if i pass} > if i fail, I probably won't say a word until I am deported for not having the necessary skill set required to be a citizen of this magnificent country.

Until then, let the learning of random English facts continue.

xx

This one's for you boys

So here you have it > boys, don't say I don't look after you.

The 9 Deadly Words Used By Women, as written by a man who seems to have cracked the code. {source unknown}

Photo

1) Fine
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to be quiet.

2) Five Minutes
If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3) Nothing
This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

4) Go Ahead
This is a dare, not permission. Don’t Do It!

5) Loud Sigh
This is actually a word. It is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6) That’s Okay
This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That’s okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7) Thanks
A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you’re welcome. (I want to add in a clause here – This is true, unless she says ‘Thanks a lot’ – that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say ‘you’re welcome’ . that will bring on a ‘whatever’).

8 ) Whatever
This is dangerous boys! She rarely means 'whatever' so back away now...

9) Don’t worry about it, I got it
Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking ‘What’s wrong?’ For the woman’s response refer to #3.

30 days of Thankfulness

"Let your lives overflow with thanksgiving for all He has done" {Colossians 2:7}

Each day this November, in light of a friend's 30 Days of Thankfulness Challenge, I wrote down one thing that I am thankful for.

So here goes...

November 1: Being an Aunty! I love it. Seeing the little sweet faces of Elliot, Mitchell & River makes my heart smile. It's so crazy how much love one can have for somebody so tiny.

November 2: Red Cups. Thankyou Starbucks for putting back that spring in my November step. I feel like today is the day where we can officially get festive. Happy wintery days x

November 3: My darling new friend, Steph. I love her. She is a true American Beauty who has introduced many a new word to my vocabulary. My current favourite of her words is 'dreamboat'. And what I love more than the word itself, is her ability to use it in reference to our Chiropractor.

November 4: Suprises! Tonight I went to a party where the Father of the Birthday Boy flew in from NZ to surprise him for his 30th birthday. I loved seeing the look on both their faces. I also loved the secret organisation that went on behind the scenes to make sure that their paths didn't cross before the party.

November 5: Guy Fawkes > Fireworks > Bonfires > Sparklers! Need i say anymore! Well only that if you live in London, you need to get yourself down to Battersea Park one year.

November 6: Skype. So thankful that there are people with such creative genius on the planet who can come up with technology like this. Makes living in a city a million miles away from your beloved family just that little bit more bearable.

November 7: The 'Next Bus' iPhone ap. I know, someone call the the Geek Police. I just can't explain to you all how much it has changed my life. No more waiting on those dark, cold, rainy mornings. Just select your bus stop and voilà... next bus in 4 minutes, time to run to the bus stop!

November 8: My Parents. These two are some of the sweetest most generous people on the planet. Love them!!!

November 9: That my puppy is always sitting at the door waiting for me to walk in. I adore her unconditional love > she makes me smile!

November 10: My dreamboat (see Nov 3) of a chiropractor. So the other week on the way to a night out, I decided to take a tumble down a whole flight of stairs. With a mild concussion and a rotated pelvis, I was a little sore and sorry for myself. So thankful for Dr Nick and his magic ability to right the wrongs in my back.

November 11: That I live in a country that Remembers & honours the sacrifice of those who have gone before. We will remember them.

November 12: For friends who have fun fancy dress parties & who give me the opportunity to harness the {very} inner gothic within. Fortunately or unfortunately, {don't read this part mum} it also reignited my affection for tattoos.

November 13: Sleeping in and not having to set an alarm. Granted that this only happens once a week. It has to be one of my most favourite parts of my week.

November 14: London at Christmastime. The magic that comes with a cold & hopefully white, Christmas. I love the lights, the mulled wine, the Christmas markets, the big fluffy hats and big cosy jackets. Ah, love!

November 15: My beautiful sister Jodi & her husband James & my brother Andrew and his lovely wife, Brittney. Oh how I love my family > just so thankful!

November 16: My darling friend Lynn. I work with this awesome girl and nothing is ever a drama and everything she does is mixed with an incredible amount of humour to get me through the working day. She is a freaking superstar. I love her! And she's single too boys...

November 17: The Bunnies! What can I say. I think I live with the most amazing, talented, beautiful, generous, inspirational, caring girls on the planet. So blessed x

November 18: All the beautiful little people in my world. Ah, baby cuddles, so precious. {And thank you to all my friends who humour me and let me steal their little ones, even just for a few minutes}

November 19: Borris Bikes > the most awesome thing to happen in London. Ever! {Well this is probably a mild exaggeration, but let's be serious now, they are pretty awesome!}

November 20: Real Christmas trees! The beautiful smell and the adventure of choosing that very special tree and carting it home again. Unforgettable memories!

November 21: New music. Oh man, something about listening to a new song and knowing that it is going to be playing on the soundtrack of your life. My current faves are Ray LaMontagne's 'Can I Stay' and James Vincent McMorrow's 'If i had a boat'. And many thanks to Ray Ray & Hajie for their musical direction in my life :)

November 22: My Unlimited Movie Card... free movies anytime. Best present ever! This was gifted to me and it's the gift that keeps on giving. What better way to spend a cold Tuesday night in London Town then heading to the cinema with your besties.

November 23: My job! I really do love my job. I have been in the same job for 8 years and haven't looked back. I can honestly say that this job was made for me.

November 24: Warm cosy rugged-up nights in. With Winter fast approaching, it's easy to justify staying 'in' watching that old film and sharing a bottle of your favourite wine. Ah, wintertime snuggly bliss.

November 25: Hand Knitted scarves, oh how I adore thee. My favourite at the moment is the one my Aunty Jan made me last Christmas. It is truly divine!

November 26: Dinner parties > i love them. I love everything that a dinner party has to offer. Good friends, good food, good wine & a lot of laughter.

November 27: Outdoor Ice Skating! This little Australian never thought skating outside could ever be so much fun. Makes me feel like a little girl again. Also love all the unashamed hand holding that goes along with this.

November 28: My beautiful London family > both new and old. You know who you are :) I would not be still in London without you. So blessed to be doing this adventure called life with you!

November 29: Christmas Carols. I love that they so beautifully remind me of what Christmas really means.

{I will be sure to fill in the rest as the days pass... I just couldn't resist publishing it today > as it is, of course, Thanksgiving!}


Happy Thanksgiving, Beautiful Friends xx

Well hello there little mouse

In a house full of 6 girls, it has to be noted that there is never a dull moment. At any given time we each tend to have a number of crazy or beautiful or ridiculous or inspiring stories to tell.

And today, I will tell you the story of our little mouse.

This story starts a few weeks back with a little furry friend who had decided to take up residence in our much-loved kitchen. A few of us were sharing a lazy breakfast one Saturday morning when we heard something moving in the corner.

There was a few tiny squeaks, a rustling of paper, and a tiny little scampering noise. I know it is hard to believe, but our conversation was silenced by these tiny little noises. 

There was stillness. It was eerie.

We were silent, waiting in anticipation to find out where this noise was coming from.

We looked around at each other, trying to work out whether we should be scared or not. As a few more seconds rolled by without incident, we all relaxed a little. That was until one of the girls felt a warm tickling sensation scamper over her bare feet.

It a split second, there was collective high-pitched screaming that resulted in an automatic response that left us all standing on chairs and some of us even embracing the safety of standing on the kitchen table.

Honestly, I can't tell you how long we were all up there before we felt safe enough to retreat back to our usual breakfast positions. All i know is that this teeny tiny little creature had such an incredible hold over us. In that moment, I came to realise that in general, women never really learn that a mouse can't actually hurt you. I am pretty sure men learn this fairly early on, and tend to be aware of the direct correlation between the size of something and it's strength. We clearly are still trying to learn that one.

After about a week without a Stuart {Little} sighting, we thought perhaps he was just on holidays with us. In the meantime, we had some friends over for dinner and when they heard of our little mouse, the boys of the group smiled and gently told us that one mouse is never just one mouse... it is always a nest. Oh dear!

And later that week, we did find out that this was in fact the case. As it turns out, our very own Stuart, had gone off to invite Mrs Little and the whole Little family to reside here with us.

These desperate times did indeed call for some desperate measures. I mean if one little solo mouse had the ability to get 6 girls standing on top of the kitchen table, what would a whole family of mice do to us?

So a house meeting was scheduled.

TOPIC: Stuart's Eviction.

These were some of the notes taken:
1. We must not under any circumstance continue to call him Stuart. He must be 'Mouse intruder #1'. Some of the girls thought that if we personalise him too much, the trauma of his departure/death may be too much. 

2. Organic mousetraps versus the good old fashioned metal-springed torture traps. We were torn. Mainly because we did not like the consequence of any of the above traps. One way, you find a dead, squished, bulging eyed mouse, flattened between a piece of wood and a metal death bar; or conversely, you find a mouse, unharmed and alive, frantically crawling in a little box in your kitchen. Either way you still have to dispose of the mouse - and none of us are believed to have the emotional constitution to be able to deal with either of these situations. 

3. We could pray that the Little Family find another place of residence. I know it sounds crazy, and I must admit some of the housemates had an eye-roll kind of reaction. But hey, it's worth a go. We have been given a week to pray the mice away. If after that week, we still have the Little Family with us, I'm afraid it's onto other less humane forms of death, entrapment and eviction for poor little Stuart. 

So i guess this is a battle that only time will tell. 

In the mean time, if you see a knight in mouse-hunting armour, then please send him our way x

So, today I bought a man lunch...

So, today I bought a man lunch. Now, before you all applaud me on my exceptionally {and uncharacteristically} forward nature, I need to give you all a little bit of background...

Photo

Let me set the scene.

Man sitting in the park on his lunch break. His bag sitting comfortably at his side, with his suit jacket placed over the seat; sitting there quietly with headphones in, potentially lavishing the little bit of warmth on the last day of the working week.

Did I notice him at first?
No.

Did my puppy notice his lunch sitting on top of his bag?
Yes.

I think you all know where this is going.

In a split second, my life went from a quiet, leisurely midday stroll with the puppy, to me apologising profusely to this hungry stranger.

After capturing the half eaten, dog-slobbered, turkey on rye, I decided that there was only one decent thing to do.

Buy the stranger lunch!

Despite his polite protests and slight amusement {thankfully} of the fact that my 'meant to be on a diet' puppy had just devoured his lunch, he allowed me to pay off my puppy's debt.

With puppy well and truly reprimanded and firmly on lead, I proceeded to walk with the stranger to the nearest sandwich bar. Polite conversation followed for the next few minutes with me interjecting every moment I could, with "i'm so sorry, she's honestly never done this before..."

And by the end of the journey down the high street, my puppy had made herself a new best friend. I genuinely don't know how she does it, but all it takes is 2 minutes for her to captivate the heart of every human she meets. And just maybe, that's a lesson for us all {the making new friends part, not the act of stealing someone's lunch...}

So with a new sandwich in his hand and another few apologies in the mix, we parted ways. And as the puppy and I walked home, i got to thinking about how many people i have actually met through this little furry creature on my lead.

And indeed, I even learnt two things today: 

Firstly, that puppies are an exceptionally easy way to make friends {pretty much on par with the whole man with a baby scenario}; and secondly, that you should never underestimate a dieting puppy.

The Birthday Cake

"What type of cake would you like me to make you for your birthday, Sebastian?"

As I asked this question this morning, I was aiming for an answer in the vicinity of 'chocolate please'. Thinking that my exceptionally ingenious idea to add smarties to the icing would rate me in his top ten favourite people of all time list. I could see the accolades now...

"A puppy cake!"

Er...right then, let me just take a few seconds to breathe and then work out a way to clear my jam-packed plan for the day. With this, I took off my much loved Personal Assistant hat and quite warily donned my Chef hat. Oh my!

And with that, I put on a load of washing, threw the kids and the puppy in the car, dropped the kids at school, dropped the puppy with the dog walker, collected the dry cleaning, sent a text to postpone the gardener, called the optometrist to confirm appointments and then made my way to the store.

And then, with all the ingredients set before me, I took a deep breath and began.

Once the sponge cakes were baked {and cooled} I was ready to go.

Icing

Then came the hard part...To make little blobs of icing actually look like puppies.

Honestly, this was the good one. You should have seen how the previous seventeen turned out.

The paw prints. Don't worry, I wasn't sure about these either, so I conducted a little survey mid decoration, and thankfully discovered that 7 out of 10 people actually thought that these looked like paw prints {without being prompted} 

And then there was one little puppy sitting on a cake. 

He looked so sad by himself so I had to make him a little friend. 

And there you have it. This is what my day looked like today. Complete with flour in my hair, icing all over my clothes & that sickness you get from eating too many of the failed puppy attempts.

So Happy Birthday, darling Sebastian. Here is your puppy cake x

What if...

What if you woke up today with only the things you thanked God for yesterday?

What a challenging thought. Not that life really works like this, but it certainly makes you think.

Last week I was reminded about how important it is that we are thankful. Thankful for the things that we have in our lives & indeed, thankful for the things that are yet to come.

I was humbled by a dear sweet friend of mine, who has recently battled a journey of heartbreak and loss. Through it all, she continued to stand strong, with determination, she spoke words that would profess her thankful heart for the good things in her life. 

I am thankful, so very thankful, that through my friend's courage, I have been given a little perspective.

What are you thankful for today?


x

What a Magnificent Revolution

Welcome to London, the place where anything goes and no one thinks twice.

I'm always looking for new and interesting things to do in this amazing city and today, I was not disappointed. Just think drive-in movies and then take it to another level.

Enter: the good old fashioned bicycle.

Yep that's right, folks, the Cycle-In Cinema has come to London. The concept is simple, you pedal to generate the power needed to screen the film.

At any one time, to run a film, the powered cinema system uses 8 bikes and 16 legs to power a 4000 Lumen projector and 500W of audio equipment for screening films or projections. The bicycles can be arranged in a variety of formations.

Their specially designed bike generators will be setup and ready for anyone who would like to bring their bike and participate. With bike or without, they encourage everyone to have a go.

So don't be shy. Head out to Hackney City Farm on your bike, with your friends or that special someone you want to woo with your cycling prowess. Remember to take a blanket and an FM Radio to tune into the film with.

And just a heads up, THE PRINCESS BRIDE is playing on Sunday 28th August {seriously you can't go wrong with this film}

Hackney City Farm, 1a Goldsmiths Row, E2 8QA
Gates open – 8pm / Film starts 8.30pm
FREE (£5 suggested donation)

So get your pedalling feet on and remember to pack a picnic - the Outdoor Cycle Cinema has arrived!

x

Dear Iris and Light...

... i simply LOVE your work!

A close {photographer} friend of mine sent me a link this morning. It has to be one of the most beautiful pieces of cinematography I have seen in a while.

I watched 'Go Do' {I won't tell you how many times over} and had shivers. It was stunning & powerful & beautiful & breathtaking.

Go Do from IRIS AND LIGHT on Vimeo.

I love that there are such amazingly talented little creatives on the planet. Iris and Light are a team of photographers & cinematographers who seem to take great ease in capturing the tangible beauty and passion of life. I must admit though, that it does help that the couple in this particular film are ridiculously good looking...but i'm sure that with with all their creative genius, they could totally make the rest of us mere mortals look good.

So with that, I'm off to start an 'Iris and Light' savings account.

Until then, I will love your work from afar!

x

To tattoo or not to tattoo

{Dear Mum, I think you should stop reading this now - go to your happy place & I will be there, sans tattoo}

So here's the thing. I think I kind of want a tattoo.

Now, not saying that I will actually go through with it, but i'm not going to lie to you, I have been thinking about it a lot. My daily commute takes me past a little tattoo parlour {do they still call them that? Kind of reminds me of an ice-cream parlour, which can only be good, right?} Anyways, so almost everyday I am confronted with the thought, to tattoo or not to tattoo? 

The place is always hiving with a mass of über cool heavy-metal rockers, bikers & the heavily pierced, so potentially this is not the place for me to get inked {look at me with all my tattoo appropriate lingo. I feel tougher already}

However, having said all of this, there are still 3, no 4, little stumbling blocks I need to overcome before I decide to get a tattoo.

Number One: My mother.

I still remember having a conversation with my beloved brother after he had his sleeve filled in on his right arm. The somewhat naive question: 

"You think Mum will notice?" 

My response was along the lines of:

"Er, yeah Andrew, i'm pretty sure that unless you wear long sleeved shirts for the rest of your life, I think she might just notice the octopus that's attacking your right arm."

Number Two: Miami Ink.

I don't know if any of you have seen this show, but it scares the daylights out of me. The sheer glimpse of this show makes my knees buckle and causes me to break out in a sweat similar to an acute case of Dengue fever. So perhaps I do not have the emotional, mental & physical constitution to join the tattoo club.

Number Three: I don't know what I want.

Although I have been toying with the idea of getting a tattoo for a while, I have not been able to decide what I want. Do I want words or poetry or a verse or a picture or a symbol. Augh... such a big decision. I mean I don't want to have a tattoo for a week and think, 'man, I should have thought this one through a bit more'. As I say this, I am mentally taking myself back to the 3 weeks of 'henna-regret' I had to endure - but that is a story for another day. All I will say is that wine & henna does not mix!

Number Four: My little miss 'social media extraordinaire' friend.

She is one of my dearest friends, her creativity astounds me and I take comfort in her honesty. I seem to grace her with a daily WhatsAp image of my latest tattoo idea with the text "What about this one?"

She likes most of them but her overall argument is "Amy, what if your future husband does not like tattoos?" 

Eish.

So, I guess I am waiting for my stumbling blocks to fall. Until then, I will continue my quest to find the perfect tattoo.

Much love, the un-inked {for the moment} girl!

xx

Hi my name is Amy and I'm a bikini-holic

Most normal people I know buy a fridge magnet, a postcard or a snow globe when they travel as a souvenir. Me, well I buy a bikini. It doesn't matter if it is a weekend trip to the English countryside, a ski trip to the Alps or a city break in Europe, I still buy a bikini.

To date I think I have accumulated about 26 bikinis. I can't throw any away as they remind me of the fabulous places that I have been and the amazing people I have shared these adventures with. These are a few of my current faves {sourced from as far apart as Thailand, Portugal & Australia} and are currently sitting in my suitcase, packed and ready to go on my next little summer holiday.  

So yes, I have an addiction. But i don't mind! It just makes summer holidays even more colourful, shiny and bright!

Yours Truly,
The self-confessed bikini-holic
x

{Selah}

I have learnt

Yesterday it rained in London. Now you would think that I would be used to a little rain by now. But seriously, just after midday, the skies opened up and a downpour of typhonic proportions hit.

So there I was, stranded, helpless, stood amongst the Yummy Mummies of Chelsea, underneath an awning, sheltering from the onslaught. After a few minutes of listening to their banter about the latest Petit Bateau collection, the trauma of their personal training session & their customary lunches at Wimbledon, I decided to make a run for it.

Fail.

I learnt many things in the few minutes that were to befall me during my journey from my cosy little shelter to my car across the road.

I have learnt that I am not a good looking wet person. I suspect that the whole notion of good hair after the rain is saved for those in cartoons & movies.

I have learnt that you should never chase your awol flip flop that has been held hostage by the rapids in the gutter. This causes people at the bus stop adjacent to think you are ridiculous. Just embrace the one shoe trend and walk away with dignity intact.

I have learnt that is crucial not to stand too close to a kerb when it has been raining. Bus > big, no huge puddle > saturated Amy {honestly, I only thought this happened in movies too}

I have learnt that it is always important to wear colour appropriate underwear if there is a slight chance of rain. I will say no more {nor will we ever speak of this again}.

I have learnt that when the weather forecast says sunshine & 24, you should think rain/hurricane style winds & 14. And always, always take an umbrella if you live in England.

So there you have it. Who knew one could learn so much in such a short space of time.

Much love,
Yours Saturated-ly

A
xx

Dear 3am, we have got to stop meeting this way

Insomnia. I didn't understand the concept of this phenomenon until early this morning. Honestly, I'm a girl who loves to sleep. Give me a little teeny space & I will always make a way. I can sleep on trains, planes & automobiles. Actually, I am normally able to catch a few minutes sleep before the plane has even taken off. Some people dread the 24 hour flight to Australia. Me, I love it. Free movies & guiltless hours of sleep! Pretty good deal if you ask me.

But not being able to sleep when you really want to sleep > absolute torture!

Late last night, after an exciting & eventful weekend, my weary little self marched home dreaming of my nice fluffy duvet & freshly washed sheets. At about 11pm I hopped into bed, put on my eye mask and got myself ready to dream the night away. 

Tick-tock.

11:57pm

Tick-tock.

12:34am

Tick-tock.

1:50am

Tick-tock.

3:04am

Finally. Sleep arrived sometime after 3am - only for me to be jolted back into some form of consciousness with the ringing of my 5:53am weekday alarm. Not good. 2 hours and 50 something minutes sleep - oh my, this is going to be one very long day!

Somewhere between midnight & 714 sheep, I decided that trying to visualise sheep jumping over my bed wasn't for me. It just got me thinking more. I mean, where are all these sheep coming from? Where were they going to? Were they landing safely on the other side? Were they landing on one another? And was there actually 714 individual sheep or was it the same 10 sheep doing laps? Hmmmm, dangerous territory for me to get my impulsively overactive imagination in to! And now, to add fuel to the fire, I started to worry about the fact that I may have gone completely and utterly mental. Who else starts to give names and accessories to the sheep they are counting? Actually, don't answer that!

This morning, my highly weary self is asking Mr Google about his suggestions should this ever happen again. In the meantime, anyone out there with some good suggestions {other than counting sheep that is} feel free to send them my way! I am concerned what will happen if I have another night like last night. Be scared all you Australians out there. The fact that you are in another time zone means that you are perfect target for a late night, insomniac phone call.

So 3am, we really do need to stop meeting this way. Unless of course I'm in a pair of Jimmy Choos & have a bellini in my hand.

Much love & loads of caffeine xx

The hundred workout

I am pleased to say that I have lived to tell the tale of the 'hundred workout'. I honestly don't know who thought of this crazy idea but I kind of think that it may actually be something that most of us are up for {even those of us of the athletically challenged nature}.

So here it is, plain & simple.

Now honestly, even I was surprised that I made it through the workout. Me, the girl who was found in her gym kit, sitting on her yoga mat, 'watching' a fitness video, eating a bowl of cereal. What...So you are saying exercise doesn't happen through osmosis?  

I must admit however, somewhere between the 90 crunches and the 80 squats I did feel myself losing some form of consciousness. Thankfully, the thought of having to write this blog and confess that I managed to complete the 'twelve workout' seemed to jolt me back into the world of reckless enthusiasm. 

As I finished my 10 minute run, I gave myself a high-five. Actually, I didn't but I did amuse myself for a good few minutes on how ridiculous a self administered high-five would make me look - as if the running in public hadn't already achieved that feat! 

Yay me! It was done for the day. In the meantime, I will spend my day thinking about all the muscles in my body that I now know exist and hoping that my abs stop burning in time for me to continue tomorrow's set. 

Anyone with me? 

The dreaded D word

In the name of research {or er...a socially acceptable bikini body for the summer} I have embarked on one of the scariest missions of my whole entire life.

The dreaded D Word

Detox 

I think I am pretty much allergic to the whole concept of diet & detox and generally tend to break out in hives at the sheer thought of it. But as they say, desperate times call for desperate measures! Who the 'they' are I do not know, but I may wish to harm the 'they' after this little experiment of mine.

With new found enthusiasm I will embark wholeheartedly on the detox train in the hope that I will feel healthier & more energetic {and ready to party the summer away}. The plan is that every day for the next 2 weeks, my sweet little delivery man will drop off on my doorstep my daily supply of fresh juices to get me through. Goodbye coffee, chocolate & wine, you will be missed. But don't dismay, my new found superfood friends are going to keep me company for a little while.

My aching head is already regretting the no caffeine rule & my poor stomach has no idea of the deprivation I am about to put it through. I do sit in fear when I wonder what the next few days hold for me and how long I will actually last in this {ridiculous} quest for health & vitality! I also wonder what special juice concoctions mr delivery man will bring me tomorrow. 

So wish me luck as I sit here sipping my carrot, beetroot, pineapple & ginger juice. Mmmmmm, delicious...Mind over matter, people. It's actually not as bad as it seems, especially if you put a wedge of pineapple on the glass, add a straw and pretend it's a pina colada.

So cheers to me and my cocktail of detox yumminess...

Don't let the rain get you - go out there and smile

So this morning, my handbag was stolen on the way to work. Not entirely the magical and perfect start to the day I was hoping for. It all happened so fast and before I knew it, I was handbag-less and on the verge of tears. 

Now, in my mind's eye, I was the superhero girl who stood up for herself, took authority and reclaimed my bag after an athletic chase {in high heels of course} that gave Lara Croft a run for her money. Unfortunately however, my response was more reflective of the dead man in Weekend at Bernie's. I literally just stood there and watched it all happen. So much so that a lady near me had to verbalise "ma'am, I think that young man just stole your handbag" At this point I was in shock...firstly because I was called ma'am, and secondly because I did absolutely nothing to stop him.

Right at this moment, I had a choice to make. Was I going to wallow in self pity or move on and get on with my day. I must admit, the thought of wallowing totally made me feel better for about 2 whole minutes, and then after that, I got a little feisty with myself and refused to let this determine my day.

A lady at the bus stop held out her arms and embraced me. Bless her. She was the sweetest little lady ever. Another man then reached out and handed me a £5 note and told me to use this to get to work. 

Once on the bus, I used my new found resolve to try and remember what was in my handbag in the first place. I called my bank. This proved to be the first of many difficult conversations.  

Lady:"Miss McBride, for security purposes, can you please tell me your account number or the long card number?"
Me:"Um, well actually, that information is on my card and I don't have my card anymore as it was just stolen..."
Lady:"Ok, let's try another one. What was the exact amount of the last direct debit made to your mobile phone account?"
Me:"I'm actually not entirely sure. As it's a mobile phone account, it changes every month - that's why I use direct debit."
Lady:"I'm afraid, Miss McBride you did not pass the security questions and I am unable to reissue you with new cards. I am pleased to say that I can block them now though..."
Me:"Can't you just ask me my d.o.b and my mother's maiden name? I know those answers for sure?
Lady:"I'm sorry Miss McBride, that is not how our system operates..."

And then just when I thought it couldn't get any worse.

Lady: "Thank you for contacting DVLA. Can I please take your license number?
Me: "Both parts of my license were just stolen so unfortunately I don't have access to that information."
Lady: "Ok, that's fine, let's see if we can find you..."
Lady: "Great, now in order to process your new license we need to take payment. Can I have your long card number..."
Me: "Right. Well that was just stolen too so I guess I will be calling you back when my cards are reissued then."
Lady: "We really suggest you do this now if you are likely to drive a vehicle in the next few days."
Me: "I appreciate that information but unfortunately I don't have access to a card..."

And another one.

Me: "Hi there, my Oyster card has just been stolen and was hoping you could cancel my current travel card and transfer it over to a new one?"
Man: "Certainly Ma'am. Do you have any identification?"
Me: "Um, no, it was all just stolen..."

Surely there has to be a more fun way of doing this! {Mental note: Thinking of getting all my bank account numbers and all security passwords & logins tattooed on my arm in case this ever happens again}

Ok, so the cards were sorted {if sorted means cancelling everything and getting nothing reissued} Now to working out what was actually in my bag. Thankfully, all I had in my bag {other than my wallet} were my gym clothes, iPod, a book, make-up and a bottle of perfume. And I'm pretty sure that not even the iPod will bring joy to the new owner. It was super old and quite frankly, starting to annoy me by freezing all the time. And as for the music, well I am not sure we would have the same taste at all. This reminds me of the time where my car got broken into whilst I was living back in Sydney. I had about 20 cds in the car at the time. All the cds were flicked through...and left. Not even thieves wanted my music! Way to go Amy! 

So, little bag thief. Be blessed with my monthly travel card. I honestly hope it takes you somewhere where you will meet someone who will change your world for the better. Enjoy my music, maybe it will speak to you. I will not cancel my Unlimited Movie Card for another week. Enjoy it until then & keep out of more trouble! And as for my gym kit, I'd advise you to stay away from that, I didn't actually wash it last night. That was today's job.

So, was it fun to have a bag stolen? No.
Did it ruin my day and steal my happiness? No

Happy Thursday Lovelies, in spite of everything xx 




 ^27-30"To you who are ready for the truth, I say this: Love your enemies. Let them bring out the best in you, not the worst. When someone gives you a hard time, respond with the energies of prayer for that person. If someone slaps you in the face, stand there and take it. If someone grabs your shirt, giftwrap your best coat and make a present of it. If someone takes unfair advantage of you, use the occasion to practice the servant life. No more tit-for-tat stuff. Live generously. {Luke 6}

Bloom where you are planted

Where do you find yourself today? Is it where you thought or hoped you'd be? Somedays, I wonder why I am where I am today. Many decisions {albeit good and bad}, trials, loves, passions and adventures have led me to the place that I now stand.

Photo

Those who knew me 'pre' London, would have told you that I was like a little homing pigeon. Always gravitating back to my sweet family and friends in Sydney. This was until almost 8 years ago, this little lady jumped on a plane bound for London. Now honestly, the plan was to spend 12 months travelling the world and then my plan was to head back home to Sydney and 'settle down' like the rest of the sensible & grown-up population.

Little did I know back then that my life would actually flourish away from 'the plan' I had in my mind's eye. I remember all those years ago that I made a decision to embrace and appreciate every situation or season I found myself in. Through this, I found a joy and peace that has enabled me to live a life bigger than I had ever dreamed or imagined.

So, be encouraged. Maybe your life is not where you thought it would be. Take heart and know that you can flourish where you are standing, with the resources you have available to you. Decide to make the most of your situation and stay true to who you are.

So, wherever in this amazing world you find yourself, bloom where you are planted & make it beautiful xx